


ten realizations that lead to love

by joahdun



Series: realizations [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, Major Character Injury, Other, Percy and Jason are bros, Pining Jason, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 13:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joahdun/pseuds/joahdun
Summary: the things jason realizes once he's gone





	ten realizations that lead to love

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys so i just got a new tumblr
> 
> https://florallysweet.tumblr.com/
> 
> it would be really awesome if you could leave prompts for me and i would be able to write them on here and on my other accounts (from different medias) 
> 
> not forcing you to or anything, but i really hope you can spare a minute to drop an idea 
> 
> thanks and enjoy the first part of the series (hopefully)

the first thing that happens is the beginning of it all. 

percy jackson is in the hospital for a suicide attempt. 

when he first hears it, jason doesn't know how to react. 

he supposes he's just empty, or maybe he's lost 

 

he's walking back home when he realizes the first thing. 

the silence is deafening, and he realizes that percy provided him with the words. 

as far as he can remember, percy started conversations with just appearing.

his presence, or lack thereof, has taken all his thoughts and, now words.

 

jason's brushing his teeth the next morning when the second realization comes to him. 

percy always smelt like the sea.

it was faint but it set him free, and if jason closes his eyes, he could picture himself off the shore of some lonely beach.

now, the smell of city smog and dust clogges his nose. 

he spits and rinses his mouth, turns off the tap, and leaves. 

 

the third realization comes when he's eating breakfast. 

nothing special, just a bowl of soggy cheerios, floating around in the lukewarm milk. 

percy had taste. 

he could cook food like his mother never did, and simply the aroma of a new delicacy would put jason at ease. 

the soft frosting on the cookies would never fail to cheer jason up, always depicting some new, wondrous scene. 

he stands up and pours the remainder of his cereal in the sink. 

 

he gets in his car, turning on the radio, and with the music comes the fourth realization. 

percy was music defined. 

his voice was that of an angel's

his fingers and mouth able to play any instrument that lay in them. 

his mind was a whole orchestra 

different music like words overlapping through

turning into the beautiful masterpiece that he was.

he shuts off the radio and just breathes in the musty scent of the worn leather seats. 

 

jason is sitting in class when the fifth realization slips into his mind. 

percy was funny.

he had an unbeatable ability to make a joke out of anything

whether it be a morbid situation, or a painful one

he always took the weight off of everyone's shoulders

it's just that nobody knew that he shouldered all of it for them

he raises his hand and stumbles to the water fountain, barely making it in time before the tears slide down his face. 

 

he's on his way back to his lonely apartment when the sixth realization is driven into his mind

percy was home.

he was the parent jason never had

his heart was too big for his body, he loved and loved and loved 

he cared for jason in his lowest moments, whether it be stroking his back as he recthes in the toilet or holding him when the memories come back.

guilt courses through his body as he realizes no one was there to provide a home for percy too. 

 

he's exhausted, each movement maching his joints and heart ache, and he can't figure out why.

his mind is trying to tell him something with the little thoughts about percy all day long but he can't put his finger on it

he doesn't know whether it's grief of another pain

the pain of unrequited love 

he pushes the thought away as he strips his clothes and steps into the inviting shower.

there, the seventh realization flows through his thoughts. 

Percy was like the ocean.

wild and free, powerful and commanding

loved but feared

but also trashed

taken granted of

he was deep, and jason doubted that even if he had spent years with him, that he would have ever even been able to see how deep it was

much less catch a glimpse

 

the thoughts are harder to avoid now and they come from all direction

bombarding his thoughts and peace of mind 

the eight realization sneaks its way into his mind

percy was beautiful

his eyes told so many stories that his mouth never could

his lips were plump and red from his biting 

tiny freckles dotted beneath his eyes

a splash onto his cheekbones and nose

and jason's done with his shower 

he's rushing out, heart racing

and he's made up his mind

 

the hospital is quiet

and jason can't help but notice how out of place the percy he knew looks

he's lying on the pure white sheets

and he looks like

he just 

might

be

dead

 

jason can't breath and he collapses on the bed, sobs struggling to through the lump in his throat

he misses his best friend 

the ninth realization slips through

and jason knows he's a goner when it comprehends in his pain riddled mind

percy is all he's every wanted

perfect in ways jason didn't even think was possible

everything jason dreamed of and more

just a shame it took him until percy was almost out of his grasp to realize it

 

it's two days later when percy awakens

pale and weak

broken

a shell of who he used to be

but he's still in there somewhere

and as jason lays his gaze upon the boy- no, man- in front of him

wearing an orange sweatshirt and those damned blue jeans

necklace flaunting his tantalizingly smooth neck

he comes to his final realization.

 

percy is the one he loves

**Author's Note:**

> dont hate me pls im gonna write a part two but in percy's pov
> 
> again, my tumblr is florallysweet  
> https://florallysweet.tumblr.com/
> 
> like always, i love you all  
> stay safe  
> dont pull a percy  
> and im out :))


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